10 Things You Learn When You Live With Old People

I mean, really love it! Oh, it’s 96 degrees outside? Hot soup sounds refreshing.

You had a black and white TV that took up a quarter of your living room and it consumed 35% of your energy bill. You should be happy that you have all of that extra space and are saving $50 a month on your electricity bill! Plus, HD is amazing!

In my day someone you have never heard of made the best music… Music now is horrible and you can’t understand it. We’ve all heard that one before!

Needlepoint chickens hanging out with giraffes. No one understands, but granny loves to sew them and give them to everyone come the holidays. You probably have something similar tucked away deep in your closet, you can admit it.

We consider most all of it trash, they keep everything and I mean everything… That plastic bag that the deli ham came in-- better keep it. You never know when you’ll need a bag that smells like ham.

One thing you learn when you move out on your own is how to clean, load and unload the dishwasher efficiently and where dishes go in the dishwasher to get them clean. Old people have their systems and usually the dishes come out looking just as bad as when you put them in to be cleaned. Don’t even get me started on the detergents and how much should be used. We use the little pod packages and they think we use too much of it… They are pre-measured!

According to old people you have to cook a certain way to get the food cooked. No, the pan handle does not need to be pointing exactly west by northwest at 18 degrees to scramble eggs properly. They will cook the same no matter which direction the pan handle is facing.

Computers are everywhere and everyone uses them, except old people. They don’t care to know how to use them. Trying to teach them is a very hard task as well. Have you ever tried to tech a 90 year old how to turn on a computer? It’s easily an hour task to push a single button, and then to explain why you did it. Anything after that will probably take a month.

You’re their baby, I get that. But you’re 30 years old now. Assumingly, you know how to get things done. You’re an adult! They don’t see you that way and they probably never will either. It’s cute, but sometimes it can be frustrating because you do things your own way and those methods work for you, much like they did when they were your age.

Leaving at 7am to head off to work? You better have some cake before you leave!

Almost every meal is like Thanksgiving dinner and stories have to be told.

This is my favorite part about being with my wife’s grandparents. She gets to spend quality time with them and we get to help them. Any little frustration goes away when thinking about that part. They are happy to have us there and we are happy to be there to spend time with them… But, I’ll still cook my eggs any way I want to, damn it!