Five Stereotypical Stocking Stuffers for Northern Coloradans
Give the gift of preconceived generalizations this year! Madi and I made a list to help you out. These are sure to get eyes rolling this holiday season.
Think you know us? Yeah, you probably do. We're a bunch of yoga-doing, green juice-drinking granolas, who only eat processed foods when we've got the munchies from that other green stuff, because we literally all do it.
We really like green.
- 1
A bag of organic kale.
Because we're all healthy and into that. Locally grown right next to where your weed is grown.
- 2
A pain reliever.
A well-received gift for anyone who has just shoveled snow (even though only we know it'll be gone the next day when it's 60 degrees).
- 3
Butt pads.
Thanks to the Kardashians, it's actually scary how easy these are to find. Here in Northern Colorado, we don't wear them for shape; we wear them because we spend a lot of time introducing our butts to the pavement at unexpectedly high speeds in the winter.
- 4
An ice scraper.
Not like, the plastic thing, but like a person who does it for you. That is the gift of a lifetime.
- 5
A bong?
I don't know, I feel like it's a safe bet. I don't like to promote using drugs but I mean we legalized it. If you're like me and don't smoke, you can use it as a nice vase all 420 days of the year.